Funny reader quotes how to#

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Bob ThavesДЄll right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Inside me thereвЂ™s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. This entry was posted in For Learners and tagged english, language, quotes, voxy.вЂњI thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.вЂќ вЂ“ Henny Youngman Quotes to Make You Laugh Mencken вЂњNever make fun of someone who speaks broken English. Mae West вЂњOpera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.вЂќ Henry David Thoreau вЂњI speak two languages: Body and English.вЂќ Robert Benchley вЂњWhen I read some of the rules for speaking and writing the English language correctly, I think any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it.вЂќ George Bernard Shaw вЂњDrawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.вЂќ Jerry Seinfeld вЂњEngland and America are two countries separated by a common language.вЂќ Bush вЂњIntroducing вЂLiteвЂ™ вЂ“ The new way to spell вЂLightвЂ™, but with twenty percent fewer letters.вЂќ Ronald Reagan вЂњIn my sentences I go where no man has gone beforeвЂ¦ I am a boon to the English language.вЂќ DonвЂ™t forget that feedback is one of the essential elements of good communication.вЂќДЄuthor Unknown вЂњEnglish grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based on Latin, a language with which it has precious little in common.вЂќД«ill Bryson вЂњMaking English grammar conform to Latin rules is like asking people to play baseball using the rules of football.вЂќД«ill Bryson вЂњThe nine most terrifying words in the English language are, вЂIвЂ™m from the government and IвЂ™m here to help.вЂ™вЂќ Sayers вЂњWhat is the shortest word in the English language that contains the letters: abcdef? Answer: feedback. This isnвЂ™t a kindergarten for amateur writers.'вЂќДЄuthor Unknown вЂњThe English language has a deceptive air of simplicity so have some little frocks but they are both not the kind of thing you can run up in half an hour with a machine.вЂќДorothy L.

Funny reader quotes how to#

Kipling, but you just donвЂ™t know how to use the English language. His dismissal letter was reported to have said, вЂIвЂ™m sorry, Mr. George Carlin вЂњRudyard Kipling was fired as a reporter for the San Francisco Examiner. Could it be that вЂI doвЂ™ is the longest sentence?вЂќ When a Bostonian вЂpahksвЂ™ his вЂcah,вЂ™ the lost вЂrвЂ™s migrate southwest, causing a Texan to вЂwarshвЂ™ his car and invest in вЂerl wells.'вЂќДЄuthor Unknown вЂњвЂI amвЂ™ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. Washington Post reader вЂњI like the word вЂindolence.вЂ™ It makes my laziness seem classy.вЂќД«ern Williams вЂњThe two most beautiful words in the English language are вЂcheck enclosed.'вЂќДorothy Parker вЂњThe quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. Chesterton вЂњLymph, v.: to walk with a lisp.вЂќ For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.вЂќ Gustav White вЂњIf the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.вЂќДoug Larson вЂњIf the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.вЂќДoug Larson вЂњWhy do we have noses that run and feet that smell?вЂќДЄuthor Unknown вЂњEnglish is a funny language that explains why we park our car on the driveway and drive our car on the parkway.вЂќДЄuthor Unknown вЂњThe word вЂgoodвЂ™ has many meanings. вЂњOur language is funny вЂ“ a вЂfat chanceвЂ™ and a вЂslim chanceвЂ™ are the same thing.вЂќ

Share it with us in the comments section below, or post it on our Facebook page! HereвЂ™s a list of 25 quotes about the humorous, ironic, subtle and downright confusing aspects of this multi-continental Germanic tongue.Дid we miss your favorite quote? WeвЂ™re all ears. Everyone from Henry David Thoreau and George Carlin to Jerry Seinfeld and your regular old Joe Shmoe has something to say about the English language.